Turd Trifecta

"Just get a shotgun so we can get this over with. And watch your fingers--she's hungry!"

I've always prided myself on the fact that I NEVER get sick (yeah yeah I know that's what everyone says) and have come to view those who catch colds, flu, etc. as somehow weaker and less worthy of life than myself. However, my superhuman immunity has failed. Hopefully my reign at the Hall of Impervious Immunity will be restored since bad things happen in threes (or that's what the old wives say), so cheers to number 3, a rotten mega virus that knocked me out for almost an entire week--and according to the "doctor" I saw at Patient First could last another five days! But am almost back to normal thank Christ.

A quick timeline:

1. December 15--the fall that shook the 23230 area--my fall in the parking lot of work resulting in wearing cool knee brace (and sweatpants) for the next two weeks. Also resulted in further increasing size of fat cells as body has swelled to near morbid obesity.

2. January 12?? I need a calendar--mega barfing illness strikes. Am quarantined from roommate for two days. Lay horizontally across bed heaving in trash can unable to eat (!!!) and still do not shed pounds.

3. January 23--sore throat, body ache virus infects. VA Peach in bed for three days. Also had to call work three times Wednesday morning b/c no one could even understand what the fuck I was saying. Raspy voices only work for porn stars I guess.

Zarf recommends stripes and brights this year--and knows transgender is ALWAYS in season!

On the up side, all this plague and pestilence brought lots of great t.v. viewing. Bad Girls Club and I Love New York are standouts! And no one told me how fucking nuts All My Children had gone with this "Zarf" so thank goodness Best Week Ever alerted me to how superbly absurd this show has become (even more so than Passions). Kudos!