Holidaze

Ahhh...joyous December. The holidays are here, and I'm all for true holiday spirit, etc. but I do find that xmas as an adult is not quite the same. So for all the stressed out ladies out there, the studio execs have brought us a fine piece of holiday entertainment in the sweet meringue confection "Holiday." Jude Law is blond! Cameron Diaz is blonder! What a perfectly hot hot hot pair! Look at "real woman" Kate Winslet land the perfect stallion....Jack Black. So...intelligent?? So...funny?? So...zaftig and sexy?? We've all been dreaming of humping Jack raw just as all the men have been fantasizing about Kathy Bates in her turn as Dolores Claiborne or maybe Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth.

Just missed the centerfold in Playboy...

I love Jack Black--really I do. But for holiday "escape" am I dreaming of rubbing the buddha belly of the shorter half of Tenacious D? NO. My dates in real life resemble enough of a Weeble so when I'm in the movie theater or alone in the dark I'm not conjuring the dickhead who just barrista'd my Starbucks. When George Clooney stars opposite Camryn Manheim I'll stop bitching. Who cast this steaming pile?

Mmmm....time for a cold shower! And maybe a Eugene Levy retrospective after midnight--woo woo!