Blind Items--Local News Edition

On Tonight: Drinks, Jerks, and Good Lookin' Gays

WHICH Beantown native/morning anchor is an obsessive compulsive with a drinking problem? His serious penchant for wine and all-white rooms has been freaking girlfriends out for years...

WHICH homegrown morning anchor and local favorite--an all-around nice girl who's been in the news spotlight a long time--grew up with less-than fastidious parents? As a joke, high school classmates snuck into the house with a camera to get to the root of why she never invited anyone over. The anwer? A condemned house! The thoughtful chaps involved in the b&e took pics of the dilapidated home and spread them around school. Nice way to humiliate a classmate and ensure therapy sessions for years to come...

TWO suave anchors at the city's top dog station lean the Anderson Cooper way but neither are out since their older, grizzled top anchor would have a problem with their "lifestyle." They're not dating each other, but each ARE dating and one has a serious partner who he enjoys shopping and dining with all over town...

And it's not:

Fun With Look-Alikes

Uncanny!

Dana Carvey and Reba McEntire

Jay-Z and Enemy Mine Draconian

Sexy Gremlin and Sharon Stone

Holidaze

Ahhh...joyous December. The holidays are here, and I'm all for true holiday spirit, etc. but I do find that xmas as an adult is not quite the same. So for all the stressed out ladies out there, the studio execs have brought us a fine piece of holiday entertainment in the sweet meringue confection "Holiday." Jude Law is blond! Cameron Diaz is blonder! What a perfectly hot hot hot pair! Look at "real woman" Kate Winslet land the perfect stallion....Jack Black. So...intelligent?? So...funny?? So...zaftig and sexy?? We've all been dreaming of humping Jack raw just as all the men have been fantasizing about Kathy Bates in her turn as Dolores Claiborne or maybe Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth.

Just missed the centerfold in Playboy...

I love Jack Black--really I do. But for holiday "escape" am I dreaming of rubbing the buddha belly of the shorter half of Tenacious D? NO. My dates in real life resemble enough of a Weeble so when I'm in the movie theater or alone in the dark I'm not conjuring the dickhead who just barrista'd my Starbucks. When George Clooney stars opposite Camryn Manheim I'll stop bitching. Who cast this steaming pile?

Mmmm....time for a cold shower! And maybe a Eugene Levy retrospective after midnight--woo woo!