Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Cosmo is Douchey

Blow job how-to articles translate into any language!
  1. Abbreviations of words, i.e. "sesh" for session, "sitch" for situation, "bod" for body, etc.
  2. "Your man" referenced no less than 1,000,000 times per issue
  3. Insistence on squishing every cover model's boobs up to chin
  4. Practical "tips" include semi-stalking, tying silk scarves to Your Man's "member", and wrapping self in plastic wrap to greet Your Man
  5. Worst. Clothes. Ever.
  6. Helen Gurley Brown=The Crypt Keeper
  7. Monthly fiction only good for bulimics--meaning, so bad will make you puke
  8. Hot and Not list almost always references Paris Hilton
  9. No quotes or stories from anyone over 22 (demographics are a bitch)
  10. Is trussed up sex manual written by pervs working at Hearst. Likely while watching monkeys do it at the zoo.
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3 comments:

Peach said...

anonymous, unless you are writing me that check directly i will hunt you down and spank you with another comment like that.

2:42 PM
Anonymous said...

Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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10:22 PM
Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. thnx!
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6:29 AM

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