House of Ill Repoot

Management thought the new store sign would be much clearer

Working a side job in retail is not exciting, and the very adorable "home eclectique" shop I work in some weekends is not pulsing with cutting-edge style. But it's cute and pays 1/68 of the Old Navy bill.


"No, the perfume won't really help. Maybe you should drink it or let me shove it up your ass."


So an interesting phenomenon has occurred. Primarily shopped by women, the store is set up like a house, complete with upstairs and downstairs. Upstairs contains a "powder room," "laundry room," "library," "sale room," and "nursery." The least traversed room is the library, but every now and then a lady or two will wander in there to look...

When I decide to play shopgirl and move toward the room to "straighten and fluff" I'm often overcome by the overpowering smell of FARTS. The library is now a sort of a fart repository...the powder room is right next door why not be location-appropriate and drop your bombs in there? Maybe it's the merchandise that eases the release. But ladies--you're not fooling anyone! Thank god I have access to loads of Thymes Persian Pear room spray and hand towels from the laundry room to wave away customer methane.

AND that doesn't even begin to cover the husbands and boyfriends...but another time.

"Would mom like this red sweater or the blue one better...?"