If Easter is About Rebirth, Can I Have New Parents?

"Dear Invisible Diary,
Today I realized how much I need a pen and paper."

If JC rolled out of the tomb today and stopped by my parents' house, he would find his holiday reduced to an episode of "Married with Children" starring my parents. I am thoroughly enjoying how each holiday dissolves into speaking in shrill tones and the inability to communicate using anything other than expletives or mumbled one-word answers. I was naive enough to think by this age we would be enjoying each others' company--how wrong I was!

Even an appearance by the Easter Kitty didn't help.

"My message to you is...love one another...KIDDING! It's get this fucking hat off!"

I know it's terrible and I am the kind of over-indulged spoiled daughter every hardworking mother and father would like to give back to the cabbage patch. But let it be a word of caution to anyone thinking of marrying someone who makes you miserable!