Thursday, March 30, 2006

Know when to hold 'em...and know when to pull back your folds


Terrorific! Not content to rest on his laurels eating his delicious roasters, The Gambler apparently has spawned twins and found time to give Burt Reynolds a run for his money. Maybe a Cannonball Run 4 for his money? I don't think Dolly would want to be islands in the stream anymore.



WHY I NEED A RICH HUSBAND OR A TRUST FUND (god damn poor parents)

As if the placewhichmustnotbenamed could get worse...well nevermind it could get worse I guess if I shared an office with a flatulent born-again Christian who listened to Stryper and communicated via babytalk on the phone to her boyfriend/pastor/dog/cat/mom all day refusing to do a lick of work but still loved by boss--who will herefore be referred to as Khan (with a nod to Genghis and the hoard).


"Yes mistress...I love these vials of shit you give me each day as sustenance. Thank ye!"

Now I am charged with the planning and implementation of a major special event which must be a success or I WILL LOSE MY JOB. This is what I was told VERBATIM. I would expect this out of some ballbreaking Wall Street firm or high-pressure sales job but why am I developing stress-related diseases over this fucking shit? As if I don't have enough to do besides manage stay-at-home bitches (oops I mean the gala committee), grovel for money all day, develop cystic acne from the phone glued to my face, raise thousands of dollars, write letters, grants, repel odioius co-workers, fend off one lecherous 80-year-old board member with teeth like a cro-magnon Austin Powers, and manage pr for the agency. All this for Bob Cratchet-like wages. I am the modern-day Oliver Twist. Please sir can I have some more?

1 comment:

Stephanie823 said...

Am dying. We need to win the frickin lottery and get the hell out. I would volunteer somewhere nice. I wouldn't just sit on my butt EVERY day. Maybe we should start playing - I bet it would make our chances of winning better. You think?