Ch ch ch ch changessssssssss

As America ushers in a new era, changes have been blowing my way as well.

Over a year has passed and boy is there a lot to say (a lot of nothing). So, in short, here are the updates:

• started new job a year and a half ago, got fired Monday
• began dating a home-bound alcoholic
• have increased weight by approximately 57843095834099859304 lbs
• debts have reached critical mass, have been threatened with legal action

That's all, folks! But I've missed you....so VA Peach is back and badder than ever. Can we get more down and out? YES WE CAN!!!

b-o-o h-o-o

I know you're all crying the immortal words of John Bender now. But, thanks to a true mid-mid-life meltdown, the cookie crumbles like this (in no particular order):

--impending move to overpriced shoebox condo which I saw for the first time today sans 1000 Mexicans and complete with walls and working appliances.. and have been crying since due to the Stuart Little scale, appallingly inflated mortgage, general feelings of anxiety and suffocation in said rat trap, and realization I'll still need TWO FUCKING STORAGE UNITS to hold accumulation of worthless crap possessions
--inability to find decent job and escape the holy living hell current position has become
--20 lbs of new padding surrounding already obese form
--distress over Soapnet removing Another World from afternoon lineup
--rejection from entire male species
--poverty
--haphazard posting thanks to paralyzing laziness and chronic procrastination
--fear of judgment from all 3 readers of this blog
--cerebral palsy-type tennis playing after $1000000000000 on lessons and clinics
--raging alcoholism

So...all in all, bye from VA Peach! Am sure the rousing two posts per month were really keeping everyone riveted to the screen. So long suckers--thanks for reading!

Interview City!!

Dreaming of a REAL salary and highlights that actually occur in nature

Had one today and have celebrated by eating two bags of chips (new Flat Earth partly veggie chips) and 5 drinks...normal? Not sure. And who cares? I'm interviewing for jobbies and promised myself if I made it through today--complete with the deceptive "I'm taking my car in for repairs"--that I sold to leadership; I could do something bad. Originally it was spend money, now it's eating too much and drinking too much. But....I stayed within budget!!!

Working

Green beer...or cuddly little pup? Money talks, drinking walks.

Obviously I'm not cut out for this if I can't even fucking post more than once or twice a month. Realize is now mid-March! If I was living more exciting life perhaps would feel more like sharing. This weekend was spent dogsitting (30 miles away from where I live, said yes without negotiating price for driving the trail of tears and becoming Cujo's caregiver) for crochety old dogs who spent most of their time trying to bite me so therefore missed any and all St. Patty's revelry. Try not to be too fraught with nailbiting jealously.

Now am also looking for a job a-FUCKING-gain....it has become imperative to leave current placewhichmustnotbenamed or else face getting fired. Where is the dynamic career, thrilling personal escapades and adventures, and more sex than the girls on Cathouse can shake a vibrator at that I thought I would have by now? Have no clue and am still looking. But...on the other hand, spring is nearly here! Just two days more. Unfortunately am still as fat and white as ever (if not more so) and am earnestly hoping Vogue has finally declared having the figure of a giant maggot as "in."

Oops..Another Miracle. The 2nd Reason I'll Go To Church...

Nice "Premonition"

Julian McMahon in another movie! Praise be. Obviously I am a fan of dicks (describing personalities, of course).

http://movies.about.com/od/bullocksandra/a/premon110905.htm